The Importance of Trust in Creating Balance

I have known for decades that the life of a consultant, particularly one in politics and public affairs, would never be a typical 9-5 kind of a gig. The work we do is fast-paced and can feel “always on.” That excitement and energy has driven me for so many years – it’s part of what I love about our industry – you never know what the next day will bring in terms of crisis, wins and new friendships. You also know that in this business, some periods simply require more time commitment to reach successful outcomes for our clients.

While at I Street, the partners always started our meetings by asking what we wanted our lives and lifestyles to be over the next quarter. This could be spending more time with our kids to attend sporting events, a milestone birthday vacation on the books or the need to downshift for a few months to take care of a sick relative. Starting near-term planning with this perspective really helped me understand what mattered to me and the others in our firm.

As I re-launched Calkin Public Affairs, I began to think through what I wanted my personal work-life balance to look like under the new firm structure. While I continue to be more excited every single day about this new venture, and willing to put in as much work as it takes to make it successful, I also knew I wanted to find a healthy balance.

I wanted a lifestyle where I could enjoy my work but also leave real time for family, maximizing the time with my wife and 11-year-old daughter and friends, as well as recharging. I really want to be a great husband and be the dad who comes to my daughter’s practices and games, and not the one making excuses on why I repeatedly miss them.

It was with that mindset that helped me build a team and structure that allows me to do this (most of the time). And it all starts with one essential factor: a foundation of trust.

To do this, however, I had to unlearn a lot of what I had known in my work life, specifically around structure. Launching Calkin PA meant transitioning from a firm that was partners only to a formal team with staff levels. With a “partners only” model, if someone wants to go on vacation, the work requires another partner to step up and manage all workflow.

It places an extra time burden on colleagues and makes planning time off difficult and guilt-ridden, but it’s all reciprocal and can work. The structure was far better than a “single shingle” business where you don’t have any senior level coverage, and we made it work relatively well for over a decade.

As I planned out this new venture, I had to ask myself if this was how I wanted to continue working. I decided no.

So, I shifted to a new model that had a team structure but candidly wondered if the new system would really work. If I stepped out and unplugged would clients panic, or worse, leave, since I wasn’t there? Would any work get done if I wasn’t there to oversee it? Essentially, would the firm be able to function?

I know it sounds overblown and a bit silly. Of course work and client service would progress. But when you are pouring your heart and soul into building a company, these are the intrusive thoughts that enter your mind. It can be easy to go to an unhealthy place and only trust yourself.

I quickly realized that success with this structure would come down to pulling together an amazing team. And with Richard Stapler and Annie Hoagland coming on in senior roles, not only were those worries wildly unfounded, but in fact detrimental to our collective success. Overworking and micromanaging will not only cause stress and skyrocket work hours for me but also hinder the confidence and great work my team is executing and capable of.

Here's a prime example that made me realize this to be true. My father recently passed away. While it was expected and anticipated for some time, there is no planning that can prepare you for the grief of losing a parent. It kicks hard.

Once the initial shock wore off, I felt flooded with grief. I tried to push through it, but the reality was, I couldn’t – and the harder I tried, the worse my headspace got. And of course, I was supposed to speak at a conference that day. There came a point where I had to acknowledge I was a raw with emotion and couldn’t focus – and just needed to unplug and grieve. But in my current new founder’s mindset, as simple as that sounded, I was having a hard time actually letting go to do it.

Finally, I realized I had to stop. So, I called my team, told them what happened, and asked for help. It doesn’t sound like it, but it was a big step for me personally in entrusting a business in its infancy that I care so much about to other people. That’s just not natural for me.

But as anyone who knows my team would expect, they responded beautifully. Richard and Annie spoke at the conference in my place and Richard attended a dinner that night in my absence. My right hand, Dani Casados, responded to emails for me and managed calls. And the entire team stepped up across the board to keep our client service humming.

The next morning, I even found a sincere email in my inbox from the client whose conference I missed. I took a deep breath before opening it – assuming the worst. The email was very genuine, expressing condolences and saying what a great job the team had done in my absence. When I was ready to return to work, I came back to the ball having moved forward on a number of projects – and none of them dropped. Franky, some of the items were improved from when I left – something that reinforced that the brain trust of the team far exceeded my own.

What a relief and an important lesson for me moving forward. By setting up the right structure for the firm and trusting the team I’ve built, I have established the right system to not only plan for and respond to a crisis but create a work-life balance that works for everyone. I’m thankful every day for our growing team, and through thoughtful hiring and planning, have never felt more comfortable and balanced as a leader.